Food nicknames

There are some foods I simply don't like. Whether it's the taste (like raw tomatoes) the texture (like liver) I don't like it, and it's always annoyed me when people who do like them try to force me to eat them. So one thing that's developed over the years, and actually spread to some foods I do like are nicknames for food.

I was asking my wife, last night, what she wanted me to fix her for her lunch today. She perked up and said she'd bought some 9-grain bread.

"So you want booger bread on your sandwich?"

I was surprised at her response, since she usually gets mad when I call it that. She simply said yes. So I decided to push my luck. We only had one type of mustard in the house (the normal kind) but I asked, "Do you want baby-poop mustard on it?" (referring to the fancy, gray gourmet mustard she buys occasionally)

"No, the yellow kind is fine."

She must have been tired. But it got me thinking of the other names that have emerged for food over the years. What follows is a list in addition to the two I've already mentioned...

Baby snot pudding — Butterscotch pudding
Cricket spit — a mixture of 1 tablespoon blackstrap molasses and about 12 ounces water. Infants absolutely love it. It actually is fairly low in sugar and high in minerals
Dog poop sausage — what my kids call the homemade link-sausages I make on occasion
Dog poop sandwich — what my former boss called the Lebanese dish made at the restaurant next to the optical shop I worked at. It actually was called a soujouk, and was a sausage, some kind of tomato sauce, a dill pickle and a few other odds and ends, wrapped in pita bread.

Now, here's where you come in. Leave a comment and let us know what funny nicknames you or your kids have come up with for various foods they may or may not like.

Posted by Danny Carlton at December 4, 2006 5:52 AM